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As you build your networks, think of the characteristics that make people stand out.
One word that continually comes up at my workshops is : Charm.
The definitions are many yet simply put - ‘to attract, cast a spell, magical,”
Psychologists tell us that the core of personality is ‘self esteem’. And that the deepest craving of human nature is the need to feel valued and valuable. So - the real secret of charm is simple - ‘make others feel important’ - sincerely.
C- Care about what others say H- Hear the keywords they use A- Ask about them R- Remember their needs M- Make sure to follow up
written by Scott Sawyer--(my wonderful webmaster)
In studying this trait, I researched five ways to work on our ‘charm’.
1. Acceptance - this is the greatest gift to give others - not always easy if we want to ‘help change them’ - yet totally accepting someone for who they are is the starting point and something Dale Carnegie always would say: “Don’t criticize, condemn or complain.
2. Appreciation - so simple, yet often forgotten. You can never tell someone thank you too many times when it is done with sincerity. We all remember what we have done and when someone reaches out to show that appreciation, it is human nature that our self esteem increases.
3. Approval - I love the line: “babies cry for it and men die for it”. We all want approval on our actions and accomplishments. It is also an on going process - so look for opportunities to show approval and praise to others for what they do.
4. Admiration - As one of our great Presidents, Abraham Lincoln said: “Everybody likes a compliment." When you give a genuine, sincere compliment about a trait, possession or accomplishment - who wouldn’t feel better? We then feel acknowledged and recognized and it feels good. Think of someone in your network today that you can reach out to with a sincere, thought felt compliment.
5. Attention - This is truly the key. Closely paying attention to other people when you are in their presence. We have heard it said that ‘he/she made me feel like the only person in the room’ - again when done with sincerity and presence, you do increase the other person’s self esteem and value.
Exercise - take each of these actionable characteristics and think of someone in your network that you will start or continue the process with for each of the ways. I would be very interested in your findings and let me know - and I will send you a gift.
Can You Hear Me Now?
- We hear that commercial often on television-and let’s put it into our communication.
How can we communicate more meaningful?
It is not always what we say - it is also ‘how we say it’.
A strong focus of my Presentation skills classes concentrate on the full package - the way one presents themselves and how actions speak louder then words.
Here are a few suggestions to consider:
*Increase your awareness - work on knowing how your message is perceived - “Perception is reality”. Pay attention to your listener or listeners. Watch their response and reactions.
*Pause often. Less is more - give your listener a chance to ‘digest’ what you have just said.
*Connect - Eyes are the windows of the soul - make sure to connect with your listener which also builds trust and rapport.
*Technology is a tool - and although we can’t live without - make sure to rebuild your face to face communication and not allow it to become a lost art. Nothing will ever replace true ‘eyeball to eyeball communication.
*Speak in a way that others will listen - We are the visual aid always and our voice is our most powerful asset. When we project, use inflection and adjust the volume - we create a presence that increases our power as we are presenting.
Here is a quick checklist as you walk into your next presentation:
*Start with an amazing grabber or hook
*Have your agenda and know you can cut without leaving out important points
*Build a strong conclusion and take away or ‘call to action’
*Deliver with strength, knowledge and confidence
*Look the part - visual communication is 55% of the message. - be dressed in accordance with the audience you are communicating to. | 
